Movies portray a date as a romantic, magical time that often times end in a kiss. The scene where two young people are saying goodnight at the front door with the porch light on, and the goodnight kiss happens is followed by the next scene where the guy and the girl are telling their separate friends what happened. Movies portray this scene to depict the beginning of a relationship and to show how two young people like each other physically, but what does that mean for the real world? Is kissing on the first date a good thing for a relationship? In this article, we'll talk about dating advice and why kissing on the first date is a bad idea.
Dating advice comes in all shapes and sizes, backgrounds, colors and hues. And no topic is more polarized in opinion than the topic of kissing. There are those that are for it, saying that it's good, and those totally against it. Somewhere in the middle are people who will "go with the flow" and do it if it "feels right" or some other circumstance that they allow to dictate their behavior. But the consequences of kissing on the first date can actually be harmful to the relationship. For one, it accelerates the physical intimacy part of the relationship. Before you even know the person on a deeper level, if it's a first date, you've opened up the physical part of it, which leads to wanting more physical intimacy until you don't know where to draw the line. And this is all happening before you even know that much about the person and whether or not this is a relationship that you want to be in for the long haul.
In addition, opening that door leads to more expectations. Expectations are not wrong in and of themselves, nor are they bad. But, if expectations are not met physically, then is there enough chemistry, foundation, whatever you want to call it in the relationship to justify its existence? Opening the door to physical intimacy also skews the balance of the relationship to focus on the physical side, and often leads to neglecting the emotional and spiritual side of the relationship. There are things that need to happen in a relationship between the physical intimacy happens, and if the balance is shifted in one direction, it is difficult to restore it. Once you enter into physical intimacy, it's extremely difficult to go back. The only way out is breakup, which is even more emotionally damaging since you've linked yourself to the person on such a deep level physically.
This is dating advice that doesn't get heard often and is considered old-fashioned and unpopular by some, including the media, but what's important to note is that kissing - regardless of time, fashion or place - also causes people to make poor judgments. People will base their feelings about a person on when they kissed, how they felt and the magic of the moment, but relationships are not based on feelings, but on commitments, values and ideals that never change. Everything gets turned upside down when you base a relationship on a feeling that is fleeting and based on a physical act.
Dating advice that's based on emotions and magical moments aren't telling you what's real. If you want a real relationship that's based on more than superficial things, try matchmaking and ask to be matched with someone who has the same values and commitments as you do. Matchmaking can be a great way to meet someone who doesn't base their view of a relationship on whether or not you kiss on the first date.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Romance Pros Tampa - Dating Advice - Why Kissing on the First Date is a Bad Idea
Movies portray a date as a romantic, magical time that often times end in a kiss. The scene where two young people are saying goodnight at the front door with the porch light on, and the goodnight kiss happens is followed by the next scene where the guy and the girl are telling their separate friends what happened. Movies portray this scene to depict the beginning of a relationship and to show how two young people like each other physically, but what does that mean for the real world? Is kissing on the first date a good thing for a relationship? In this article, we'll talk about dating advice and why kissing on the first date is a bad idea.
Dating advice comes in all shapes and sizes, backgrounds, colors and hues. And no topic is more polarized in opinion than the topic of kissing. There are those that are for it, saying that it's good, and those totally against it. Somewhere in the middle are people who will "go with the flow" and do it if it "feels right" or some other circumstance that they allow to dictate their behavior. But the consequences of kissing on the first date can actually be harmful to the relationship. For one, it accelerates the physical intimacy part of the relationship. Before you even know the person on a deeper level, if it's a first date, you've opened up the physical part of it, which leads to wanting more physical intimacy until you don't know where to draw the line. And this is all happening before you even know that much about the person and whether or not this is a relationship that you want to be in for the long haul.
In addition, opening that door leads to more expectations. Expectations are not wrong in and of themselves, nor are they bad. But, if expectations are not met physically, then is there enough chemistry, foundation, whatever you want to call it in the relationship to justify its existence? Opening the door to physical intimacy also skews the balance of the relationship to focus on the physical side, and often leads to neglecting the emotional and spiritual side of the relationship. There are things that need to happen in a relationship between the physical intimacy happens, and if the balance is shifted in one direction, it is difficult to restore it. Once you enter into physical intimacy, it's extremely difficult to go back. The only way out is breakup, which is even more emotionally damaging since you've linked yourself to the person on such a deep level physically.
This is dating advice that doesn't get heard often and is considered old-fashioned and unpopular by some, including the media, but what's important to note is that kissing - regardless of time, fashion or place - also causes people to make poor judgments. People will base their feelings about a person on when they kissed, how they felt and the magic of the moment, but relationships are not based on feelings, but on commitments, values and ideals that never change. Everything gets turned upside down when you base a relationship on a feeling that is fleeting and based on a physical act.
Dating advice that's based on emotions and magical moments aren't telling you what's real. If you want a real relationship that's based on more than superficial things, try matchmaking and ask to be matched with someone who has the same values and commitments as you do. Matchmaking can be a great way to meet someone who doesn't base their view of a relationship on whether or not you kiss on the first date.
Dating advice comes in all shapes and sizes, backgrounds, colors and hues. And no topic is more polarized in opinion than the topic of kissing. There are those that are for it, saying that it's good, and those totally against it. Somewhere in the middle are people who will "go with the flow" and do it if it "feels right" or some other circumstance that they allow to dictate their behavior. But the consequences of kissing on the first date can actually be harmful to the relationship. For one, it accelerates the physical intimacy part of the relationship. Before you even know the person on a deeper level, if it's a first date, you've opened up the physical part of it, which leads to wanting more physical intimacy until you don't know where to draw the line. And this is all happening before you even know that much about the person and whether or not this is a relationship that you want to be in for the long haul.
In addition, opening that door leads to more expectations. Expectations are not wrong in and of themselves, nor are they bad. But, if expectations are not met physically, then is there enough chemistry, foundation, whatever you want to call it in the relationship to justify its existence? Opening the door to physical intimacy also skews the balance of the relationship to focus on the physical side, and often leads to neglecting the emotional and spiritual side of the relationship. There are things that need to happen in a relationship between the physical intimacy happens, and if the balance is shifted in one direction, it is difficult to restore it. Once you enter into physical intimacy, it's extremely difficult to go back. The only way out is breakup, which is even more emotionally damaging since you've linked yourself to the person on such a deep level physically.
This is dating advice that doesn't get heard often and is considered old-fashioned and unpopular by some, including the media, but what's important to note is that kissing - regardless of time, fashion or place - also causes people to make poor judgments. People will base their feelings about a person on when they kissed, how they felt and the magic of the moment, but relationships are not based on feelings, but on commitments, values and ideals that never change. Everything gets turned upside down when you base a relationship on a feeling that is fleeting and based on a physical act.
Dating advice that's based on emotions and magical moments aren't telling you what's real. If you want a real relationship that's based on more than superficial things, try matchmaking and ask to be matched with someone who has the same values and commitments as you do. Matchmaking can be a great way to meet someone who doesn't base their view of a relationship on whether or not you kiss on the first date.
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